Monday, November 25, 2013

I've worked too hard....

I'm losing my voice.....

I know quit a few people that will be very happy about me not being able to scream at the top of my lungs.

You see, I am usually a very loud person. I scream and shout and sing like nobody is watching. I'm different in that way. But people don't like different things because change is scary. And because different things are scary I am not allowed to be excited and loud and happy.

But I have been so excited about everything lately that I have been doing a lot of screaming. Between pit orchestra every day, karate, and saxophone lessons on top of all my school work my immune system  has decided to take a nap and chill while I sit here with a scratchy through and can't talk anymore. I can't speak. You know what happens when you cant speak? You can't talk to people.

I don't know whether this is a good thing or something that is going to drive me insane.

It all started last Tuesday. I woke up feeling more shitty than normal and I felt like I was having an asthma attack. That is what happens when my through gets all scratchy.  I have trouble breathing and my brain interprets that as asthma. Now this wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that I have the organizational skills of a monkey on Monster Energy drinks.

(Excuse me one moment, but since I mentioned Monster Energy I feel inclined to rant for a moment) OHMYFUCKINGGODBLACKVEILBRIDESANDBULLETFORMYVALINTINEWENTONTHEMONSTERENERGYTOURTOGETHERANDTHEYDIDNTCOMETOUTAHTOSEEME!!!!
IF ANDY BIERSACK, ASHLEY PURDY, CC, JAKE PITTS, OR JINXX IS READING THIS THEN COME TO UTAH ON YOUR NEXT TOUR PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Ok I'm fine now. Where was I? Oh yes, organizational skills of a monkey.
So I have asthma. And because I have asthma I have inhalers. Now, I think I have about three inhalers open right now. One is in my bathroom, one in the kitchen, and another in my backpack. But when I have an asthma attack, all that information flies out of my head and then I have no idea where my inhaler is, the panic starts to set in, and I have an anxiety attack on top of the asthma.


So that has been happening to be for the last week. But I refused to admit that I was sick. Even though my throat feels like 13 cats are griping at the inside of it and my noise is stuffed with so much snot I could wipe out a small country with one sneeze and on top of all that my ears constantly feel like I have gone up the Canyon twenty times, I refused to say I was sick.


Why? Why would I put myself through this?

Well because I had the play. And I refused to be sick for the play. I have worked way to hard for this to miss it because of a stupid head cold. In truth it was probably all the work from the play that caused me to be sick.

But I stuck it out. I made it through Saturday somehow and now I am just like.....




But still, I was forced to go to school today. Even though we only have two day of school this week because it is almost Thanksgiving break my mother forced me to go to school. I don't want to sit here in this hell hole while I feel like my head is going to implode! I have earned a break! But here I am, sick as can be sitting in my boring English class writing this.

Good Bye for now my little Panda Bears! \(*.*)/

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