Drawing.... Bleh!

If you read my blog regularly you will know that occasionally I illustrate my blog with very poorly drawn pictures that I make on this wonderfully frustrating site.

I hate it.

I can't draw for shit. I am very artistic, don't get me wrong. But I am artistic in a musical way. Not a drawy, painty, visual, way. The way people can visualize things in their head and reproduce them perfectly on paper in the exact way the imagine it fascinates me. I want to be good at drawing. I practice drawing anime every now and then but they usually don't come out very well.

So why did I decide to start illustrating my posts? Well, basically I have friends who are super duper talented when it comes to drawing and they illustrate their blog posts. Drawings make you posts more interesting and even when you have a really long post breaking it up with drawings makes the reader want to pay attention instead of them feeling intimidated by the huge amount of text. Plus their drawings make their blogs extremely funny and they have a shit ton of page views.

My expectations for blog illustrations. 

Reality

My thinking process was this.
I want pageviews! I want my blog to be popular! How can I do this? I know! I can copy my friends in a inauspicious endeavor to be artistic!
.
.
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....... Wonderful idea, wasn't it?

Not only are my drawings awful, they also take FOREVER to make and are tremendously difficult to do on a computer. I don't understand how anybody can do such good drawings on a computer! How is this possible? I just don't know. I am obviously not coordinated enough for this.
I hope you guys appreciate the work I put into these drawings!

New Musical Obsession

If you read my blog, know me in person, or know just one thing about me you will know that I am a giant band nerd. I play clarinet, saxophone, and flute. I also own a keyboard and sometimes I like to sit in front of it and pretend that I'm talented. But now I have added yet another instrument to the rotation!

Wait for it......
Wait for it.....

I play guitar now :3

BTWs Best guitar drawing ever :P

Yep, I've been playing guitar for about a month now. It is surprisingly easy to learn and I am very proud of myself. Considering that for the fist nine months of playing saxophone I sounded like a mix between a wood pecker and a cat that was being stabbed repeatable and that I still can't play two notes on the flute without having to take a breath so that I end up looking like I'm having an asthma attack, I think my progress on the guitar is sensational.

So about two months ago I decided that my dads guitar needed to make it's way out of the storage room. So I brought it into my room to join the family of instruments. For about the first month it just kinda sat in my room and I would stare at it imagining how cool it would be to be able to play it. 

It wasn't till a few weeks ago that I actually got it out of the case and broke out youtube to learn to play If I'm James Dean You're Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping With Sirens. That song was incredibly easy. And I've been driving my family crazy with it for the last month.

The reason I didn't learn anything else is because, and if you play guitar you will totally understand this, you need a capo to play every single cool song out there. I guess singers just can't sing in the right key to save their lives so they have to make the guitar players use capos in order to make it so they don't sound like dying cats.

But last week it arrived! I finally have a capo!!!!! So now I have been playing guitar non stop. Yesterday I literally got home, picked up the guitar, and played for the next two and a half hours. My dad can in to take me to karate at six and I was like "What???? Where did all the time go?!?!" I think I just transported myself to magical guitar land were everything but music completely vanishes.

But those two hours were well spent because now I can play If It Means A Lot To You by A Day to Remember like a total boss.

And the night before that my dad came into my room and told me that the guitar was officially mine. YAY!!

Yep, and now I have five instruments. One day when I become ultimate ruler of the universe I think it will be a law for every single one of my subjects to have to learn to play an instrument.
It will be a good world.

Why I was a Weird kid

When I was a little kid I had what some people might refer to as an "overactive" imagination. I understand that everybody was imaginative when they were little, but I was a bit different.

Where to start?
You might like to know that I have extreme ADD, or attention deficit disorder, and we didn't know it until I was in like.... third grade. Meaning that I went through all of 1st grade, 1st grade again, and 2nd grade with the attention span of a ten year old boy watching Twilight. And yes, I did 1st grade twice. Only the incredibly special kids get to do that more than once. :3

So how did I spend this time?
You would think that 1st graders would be hyperactive and excited.

Well I was. To the point where I couldn't go a hour without falling out of my chair. The other kids got used to it and just ignored me. My teacher constantly complained to my parents about it. And I honestly couldn't understand why it was a problem. I would just be sitting at my desk calmly and learning how to spell words like cat, hat, bat, and calling my teach fat. Then all of a sudden WHOOOP, I would be on the floor.

I also day dreamed a lot. Like..... at lot a lot.

When I was little I was completely one hundred percent convinced that I belonged in the anime world. I had an imaginary charmander in the second grade. By second grade kids are really too old for imaginary friends. But I wasn't. I was also convinced that Sasuke (from Naruto) was going to take me to the hidden leaf village and Kakashi was going to train me to become a ninja.  It was going to happen.

Eventually my day dreaming just turned into flat out sleeping.

The first time I remember actually falling asleep for an extended period of time during class was in 2nd grade. My teacher didn't even bother to wake me up, she just let me sleep for like an hour.

The same teacher also ignored me when I was feeling super duper sick! I felt like my stomach, liver, kidney, and all other organs had a party last night and they were all recovering from their hangovers. So I had my hand in the air for something like 20 minutes, trying to ask Mrs. Teacher if I could go to the nurse. But apparently my illness was of no concern to her when she was describing the art of making a cursive r. So you know what happened? I threw up all over my desk. That will teach her not to ignore a child.

So let's move forward to 3rd grade. I vividly remember asking my teacher why the hell we were learning how to read a clock for the third year in a row. I guess she didn't appreciate my sass because she held me in class during lunch and made me do a bunch of math papers when I should have been eating.

Next! Ok so I guess that the ADD meds were working because after 3rd grade I was moved into the "HA" class. HA meaning High Ability. More like hahahaha no way I'm in that. When you're in fourth grade high ability basically means you have the ability to comprehend what is happening in the Harry Potter Books.

Let me make it very clear that I have no idea in hell how I was placed into this class. I was the equivalent of a spazzy puppy who was just placed into a room full of highly trained police dogs and was expected to sniff out drugs.

And the teacher expected us all to be super mega brains because she made us forth graders do sixth grade math and our spelling worlds were things that no normal person would ever use in conversation ever.

We literally had words like:
aficionado
ennui
bivouacking
chartreuse
I don't even know what those words mean.

Plus she hated me.

She was one of those teachers that would pick favorites. And her favorites were always kids who were popular! I'm sure you have realized that I was absolutely not popular. So basically she picked on me. Yeah, 4th grade sucked.

There are some of my weird elementary school stories.