We all have that one thing

Face it, we all have that one thing that is more important than anything. That one thing that you love so much that it controls your life, it controls your views on other things, it controls how you act, it controls how you think. It's that one thing you turn to when you are upset, depressed, or just having a hard time.

For me, that thing is music.

Now not just any music. There is one band in particular that I love more than anything. Their music means the entire world to me.

Black Veil Brides

I find it inspiring and relatable on a level that I cannot begin to explain to somebody that does not have something they can relate this to.

Now if you are a hater of this band then you have probably never heard very much of their music, if you have heard any at all and if you are able to picture them in your head you are picturing the photo shoot for Set the World On Fire.

this is what you are picturing in your head

(from Left to Right: CC, Jake Pitts, Andy Biersack, Jinxx, Ashley Purdy)

And if you are a hater you are thinking something along the lines of:

Emo

Satanic

Fag

Gay

And you have probably only heard of the song knives and pens, which was released...... let's see..... IN  THE FUCKING YEAR OF 2009!!!!

Now BVB is probably one of the bands that has changed the most over the years. They sound nothing like they used to. 

To prove my point you can click this link for Knives and Pens from their first album and then click Lost it All from their most recent album. Lost is All is one of my favorite songs on the newest album and the song that Andy (the lead singer and the one in the middle in the above picture) has said multiple times he is most proud of. FYI Andy writes all his own songs instead of the rappers on the radio that have ten people write their songs for them and all they can come up with is "You a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe".

I would also like to point out that the band is no longer as theatrical as the used to be and they are all completely normal people. Andy grew up going to CATHOLIC SCHOOL. Not a satin worshiper. 

And now he looks like this:

This is Crow. See, normal guy with a normal pet cat.

Yes..... still a lot of studs and black but that's rock music

(From left to right: CC, Jinxx, Andy, Jake, Ashley)

I will admit, all the members of the band still dress in black and all but Andy still have long hair. They all have multiple tattoos and there music is full of heavy guitar and drums. 

But this is what I love. And I love it to the point where if anybody says anything bad about the band I take it personally. 

So to get to the point the reason I wanted to write this post is that when my ski team was at lunch today I was showing my friend pictures of Andy Biersack. And we may have been swooning..... just a bit.

But all the guys on my team where like "Let us see!" So we showed them a picture something like this: 

"He's gay"

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That was the immediate reaction. 

.

.

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no

This was unacceptable..... so after verbally abusing them I went to find another picture.

But this time is wasn't of Andy.

It was of Juliet Simms. Andy's incredibly beautiful and sexy girlfriend. 

Here are some pictures of her:

Next reaction:

"Wow"

That's right bitches. Even the 12 year old was like "Omg she's hot"

And from that point on I was like "That's right, Andy's is way hotter than all of you and you will never have a girlfriend has hot as his!"

I was quit proud of myself and they didn't question Andy for the rest of the day. 

BANDS RELEASED TODAY

Today is the big day! Today is the day that the 2014 Warped Tour lineup is released! As you lovely people that actually read my blog will know I had a ticket for last years warped tour, which was confiscated due to my poor choice in nail color.

But this year will be different! I WILL GO.

I am so excited to see the set list, but sadly it will not be released till about 11 o'clock tonight. I will be sitting on my computer at 10:59 like this.....

Yep... Awful Apple on the back of my

Computer again.....

I will not be able to sleep tonight unlit I see that list.
But because Vans likes to build up as much suspense as they can they only release a few bands a week. I have no idea what order the bands will be released in at all or if they are going to be totally random. But this means that I am only expecting about five bands to be on the list tonight. :(

I've decided that I will humor you guys with a list of the bands I would like to see at Warped Tour. This is also the list of bands that I am going to cry for if they don't appear on the set lists.

Black Veil Brides (If they don't appear I will cry for weeks and I will have a huge hole in my heart the     entire time I am at Warped)

A Day to Remember

Escape the Fate

Sleeping With Sirens (Goodbye Jesse! <3)

Bring Me The Horizon

We Came as Romans

Pierce the Veil (working on getting tickets to see them in March right now!)

Asking Alexandria

Bullet for My Valentine

Capture the Crown

Memphis May Fire

And many more! This list is in no particular order, just the order they popped into my head!


So I would also like to mention that I live in Utah...... why would I tell you that?

BECAUSE SALT LAKE IS THE VERY FIRST DATE ON WARPED TOUR!!!!! I am exploding with excitement! Warped Tour kicks of on June 14th in MY CITY!!!

So theres my post for today. Sorry I haven't posted for a week but nothing exciting has been happening! I am going to try to get back to posting everyday!

Good Bye for now my little Panda Bears! \(*.*)/

P.s. I have decided that if anybody can make a emoticon panda bear I would love to see it and would use it after every post!
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That also means I should probably make a contact page.......
I'll get right on that!

Dear Pandas (No. 1) - Thank You!!!

Dear Pandas,

      So about an hour ago I stepped out of the shower and immediately turned on my laptop because I am incapable of going more then 20 minutes without music, blogs, and random internet stuffs.

worst apple computer ever

So obviously I went straight to blogger to check my blog. And what did I see?

1031 pageviews....... that is 31 more than 1000.......

Ladies and Gentleman

Humans and Extraterrestrials 

and most importantly my little panda bears

I have reached a thousand page views!

I started my blog on Wednesday October 30th. Here we are, only 26 days later and I have already reached 1000 views. 

So my little Panda Bears, I want to thank you! Thank you for logging onto my blog and reading my slightly pointless posts. I am still getting the hang of blogging and I am loving every minute of it! So thank you, I love every single one of you! 

So please keep spreading the world, help my blog grow! I love you guys!

Good Bye for now my little Panda Bears. \(*.*)/

 

I've worked too hard....

I'm losing my voice.....

I know quit a few people that will be very happy about me not being able to scream at the top of my lungs.

You see, I am usually a very loud person. I scream and shout and sing like nobody is watching. I'm different in that way. But people don't like different things because change is scary. And because different things are scary I am not allowed to be excited and loud and happy.

But I have been so excited about everything lately that I have been doing a lot of screaming. Between pit orchestra every day, karate, and saxophone lessons on top of all my school work my immune system  has decided to take a nap and chill while I sit here with a scratchy through and can't talk anymore. I can't speak. You know what happens when you cant speak? You can't talk to people.

I don't know whether this is a good thing or something that is going to drive me insane.

It all started last Tuesday. I woke up feeling more shitty than normal and I felt like I was having an asthma attack. That is what happens when my through gets all scratchy.  I have trouble breathing and my brain interprets that as asthma. Now this wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that I have the organizational skills of a monkey on Monster Energy drinks.

(Excuse me one moment, but since I mentioned Monster Energy I feel inclined to rant for a moment) OHMYFUCKINGGODBLACKVEILBRIDESANDBULLETFORMYVALINTINEWENTONTHEMONSTERENERGYTOURTOGETHERANDTHEYDIDNTCOMETOUTAHTOSEEME!!!!
IF ANDY BIERSACK, ASHLEY PURDY, CC, JAKE PITTS, OR JINXX IS READING THIS THEN COME TO UTAH ON YOUR NEXT TOUR PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Ok I'm fine now. Where was I? Oh yes, organizational skills of a monkey.
So I have asthma. And because I have asthma I have inhalers. Now, I think I have about three inhalers open right now. One is in my bathroom, one in the kitchen, and another in my backpack. But when I have an asthma attack, all that information flies out of my head and then I have no idea where my inhaler is, the panic starts to set in, and I have an anxiety attack on top of the asthma.

So that has been happening to be for the last week. But I refused to admit that I was sick. Even though my throat feels like 13 cats are griping at the inside of it and my noise is stuffed with so much snot I could wipe out a small country with one sneeze and on top of all that my ears constantly feel like I have gone up the Canyon twenty times, I refused to say I was sick.

Why? Why would I put myself through this?

Well because I had the play. And I refused to be sick for the play. I have worked way to hard for this to miss it because of a stupid head cold. In truth it was probably all the work from the play that caused me to be sick.

But I stuck it out. I made it through Saturday somehow and now I am just like.....

But still, I was forced to go to school today. Even though we only have two day of school this week because it is almost Thanksgiving break my mother forced me to go to school. I don't want to sit here in this hell hole while I feel like my head is going to implode! I have earned a break! But here I am, sick as can be sitting in my boring English class writing this.

Good Bye for now my little Panda Bears! \(*.*)/

Bye Bye Birdie

Last night was my High Schools opening performance of Bye Bye Birdie. I am in the pit orchestra for the show and let me tell you, it has been ruining my life for the past month.

Don't get me wrong, it has been a ton of fun. But it has literally become my life. Ever day after school I had to stay until six o'clock to practice. This has been the hardest music I have even had to play and the most work I have ever had to put into something.

For the past four weeks I have been stressing out over one specific song.

Spanish Rose

I sat there for the entire show thinking about it and now wanting screw it up and destroy the entire play.

That song will be the reason I jump of the balcony of the auditorium. Half the song is a clarinet solo, all me. And I literally could not play it until last night.

I sat there, staring at the music thinking, Oh God here it comes. I put the clarinet on my face and I hear the moment of silence before my solo. And then I play.

But it was amazing! My band director always talks about superman syndrome and about how we have to go home and practice because we aren't going to be magically good on the of the performance. Well I beg to differ.

I played it the best I haver had. I was so proud of myself! 

My reaction to me actually succeeding was this.

And now all of the practices are over, we just have three more performances to go and then I'm done! DONE!!! I am so sick of this show. I know every single line by this point and all of the jokes are no longer funny.

Even when a girl has to scream at the top of her lungs "LET'S HAVE AN ORGY " (pronounced wrong)

It's just not funny anymore.

But after Saturday I never have to listen to "WE LOVE YOU COMRADE, OH YES WE DO" ever again! I think I probably hate Comrade more than Mr. McAfee does.......

Good Bye for now my little Panda Bears! \(*.*)/

Existential Crisis

There is something out there called an Existential Crises. Basically it is where you question the very meaning of life and can't think of a reason for you to exist.

I am having that Crisis.

I don't know what I'm doing. With anything. I can't do anything lately without questioning what purpose it serves in the universe. I am just one small creature on this tiny planet in this minuscule galaxy. What does anything matter? I'm never going to become successful, change people lives, make a difference in this puny county of ours. 

I have been thinking about this for a while now. The last few weeks I have been contemplating why I am even here and what they hell my purpose for existence is.

Last night I broke down.

I was lying in bed, probably dreaming about Andy Biersack or something. 

When suddenly....

This is a very important question. And I spent the rest of the night contemplating it. My conclusion:

I'm currently in a state where I can't find joy in anything, can't be saddened by anything, because nothing really matters in the large scale of the world. I will not make a difference in this world. I do not have the power to make a difference. One person is not big enough to change anything in the grand scheme of things. 

I curled up in a ball last night and couldn't sleep because all I could think about was how there was no meaning in my life. I don't want to talk to anybody today. Can I just go home and curl up into a ball and sleep for eternity?

I HAVE A SAXOPHONE

Sorry about all the resent band posts..... If you really don't care then don't bother with this post.

So you're still here?

:) Yay!

If you read my post yesterday you will have a good idea of what this post is going to be about. That and the title is pretty self exclamatory.

I have a Alto Saxophone.

It's mine.

It was bought for me, all for me.

Not one of the schools shitty pieces of junk that pass for instruments.

A REAL Saxophone.


So if you know anything about Saxophones you would like to know that I got a YAS 62 III. It's a professional Yamaha Saxophone is the most beautiful thing I own next to my clarinet. (which is a Yamaha 650)

But alas.... It has been taken from me until Christmas morning. I can not play this beautiful new instrument until Christmas...... because this is my gift.

I want it now!

I don't care if I sound like a brat! I have tasted perfection and now I will settle for nothing less! I want that new instrument and I want it now!
I am seriously considering doing the same thing I did when my parents took my new clarinet away.
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Yes..... when I'm a bad child the worst punishment my parents can think of is to take away an instrument and make me play a bad one instead......

But anyway, when that happened I switched the instruments from their two different cases and my parents never knew the difference, I just had a brand new clarinet in an old case. It worked well.

But I'm not going to do that, because then on Christmas it will feel like I didn't get anything when really I got an instrument worth over four grand.
(my parents didn't pay that much.... there was a super Christmas sale)

Anyway! Look at it!

Are you looking???? Are you looking at my new glorious child! 

My mother took me down to the music store right after I got home from school yesterday and we got to go try new Saxophones and this was the one I picked. It makes me SOOOOO happy! 

I walked into the store and there were about 5000000BIMILLION SAXOPHONES! I was given one and then the sales man walked my mom and I all round the store like three times before finally putting me in a closet letting me try playing it there. 

I quickly decided it was the most luxurious thing I had ever played! 

And then we bought it.......

It was that simple!

The entire way home I held the new instrument within its case on my lap and gushed to my mother about how happy I was. 

So sorry if you really don't care and I bored you with this post. The entire point was to brag about my new instrument ;) 

FYI this is the first post I have ever illustrated and I had a lot of fun doing it. I think you can expect to see more awful drawings from me in the future. :)

Good Bye for now my little Panda Bears \(*.*)/

New Instrument of Jubilation

Today is the first day in three weeks that I don't have to say at school until after dark for pit orchestra. Instead today we are doing a dress rehearsal at 7, so I should be able to go home and sleep for a few hours because I am incredibly behind on sleep. But guess what I'm doing instead?

Last night my parents told me they wanted to take me to the Summerhays music store to by me a new Saxophone.......

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......... a new instrument.

OMGFUCKINGGODIAMSOUNBELIEVABLYHAPPYABOUTTHISICOULDJUSTDIERIGHTHEREBUTTHENIWOULDNTBEABLETOPLAYTHENEWGLORISOUSINSTRUMENTTHATIAMABOUTTORESEAVE

im excited

IMSOHAPPYIWANTTOSCREAMITTOTHEWORLD

So I got a new Clarinet for my birthday in May.

If you are interested and actually know anything about clarinets I have a Yamaha 650 and I think it is absolutely amazing.

If you don't know this is a damn good instrument

I have mentioned that I would like a new Saxophone so I don't have to play on the school's suckish Armstrong Alto Saxophone I have been playing on. FYI they haven't made Armstrong Saxophones since the 80s. It is extremely shitty.

Because I got a new Clarinet just a few months ago I really did not have even a shred of hope of actually getting a real Saxophone. But I am. I am going right after school today to pick out a new instrument.

This is actually happening to me.

I will update you tomorrow on the wondrous instrument that will enter my possession.

Good bye for now my little Panda Bears. \(*.*)/

Why I want to dye my hair......

I have wanted to be able to dye my hair for the longest time. Since last year, in fact over the summer I tried so hard to get my mother to let me do it but she is dead set against it.

I would want either light blue/turquoise,  bright pink, or white hair. One day I WILL dye my hair. But for now I can just look at these pictures of girls with amazing hair and with I had hair like this.

I want the scene/indie look. I think the style is amazing and super cutie!

These are all great examples of how I want to cut my hair. I have brown hair and pretty decent bangs right now.

super cute bangs!

Her entire haircut is amazing

I want these bangs so badly!

Here are examples of dye jobs I either want or just think are amazing. 

I may have gotten a bit excited with all of the super hot scene hair.

So ya and I know at least three of these are Leda! <3 I love her

Good bye for now my little Panda Bears! \(*.*)/